OK - plan B.  "Yes, he was here, but it's the middle of the night!  Don't call back before 5:00 and don't come downstairs!"  Needless to say, the phone rang at 5:02.  So we had a very thrilling, coffee-laden morning of opening presents and then packed up and headed to Nan and Papa's house to have Christmas with the family.  We planned to stay 2 days.  On Wednesday evening our dog, Priscilla, who had come with us, went out around dinner time to take care of business.  It was dark.  She is old and doesn't see well anymore.  That's where things started to fall apart. 

It started raining and we couldn't find her.  It got cold.  She didn't come home.  The next morning we set out searching for her.  There is a campground next door to my parents' house and the owners said they saw her in a field that morning.  We searched for hours, on foot and in cars.  Nothing.  I started to panic.  She has been my dog for 13 years - she is my oldest child.  I love her dearly.  So, instead of going home as scheduled, we went to town and printed flyers with her picture on them.  We took them everywhere - the animal shelter, local vets, Walmart, Kroger, nearby markets and gas stations, etc.  We talked to everyone we could find near where she was last seen.  We stayed four extra days and searched.  No sign of her.  Finally today we had to leave without her. 

My heart is broken.  There is no way to know if someone has picked her up and is caring for her or if she is curled up under a porch somewhere, cold and hungry, waiting for us to find her.  I don't even know if she survived the harsh weather.  I can think of a thousand things I wish I had done differently.  I feel like I let her down, and she was always there for me.  All I can do now is hope that someone has her and will see our signs and call us. 

This is one thing I do know: although I am devestated about Priscilla, this is nothing compared to what I would feel if one of my children was lost.  I am reminded, as we are about to head out into unfamiliar territory, that we must keep a watchful eye on our boys.  I am also reminded of a book that really impacted the way I train my children in this area.  It is called "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin De Becker.  It is excellent and I highly recommend it, although many people find it unsettling.  He taught me that if I teach my child not to talk to strangers and they get lost - everyone is a stranger.  He suggests that I teach them to look for/ask for help from a woman, another mommy.  The book details many valid reasons why.  It's definitely worth reading.  So, as a tribute to Priscilla, we'll put "Protecting the Gift" in our D2E store.  She is one gift that I wish we could have done a better job of protecting. 

Goodbye my sweet little "Cilla-doggie".  Our home is so lonely without you and I miss you more than I can say.

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